The ‘F’ Word – Forgiveness that is…

By Maggie Wilde – The Potentialist
(with a free Brain Training Recipe)

Is it better to be right or to be happy and healthy? That’s a question I’ve had to ask myself many times throughout my life.

Let’s be honest, most of us have at least one or two things that still ‘stew’ away under the skin, festering and fostering anger and resentment.

If you feel hurt or hard done by, do you find it easy to forgive and forget? Or do you resist and end up ‘stewing’ in righteousness and indignation as one of my clients recently called it?

I spoke to a man recently in his late 70’s who has spent a lot of his life feeling ‘angry’ at the world and stubbornly (in his own words) re-igniting the injustice of past hurts, replaying them over and over. This pattern has played for so long that his brain is constantly searching for what is wrong with people and situations rather than what is right.

At 78 he has realised a dream goal, only once again after reaching his goal, he is now ‘unhappy and feeling indignant’. He is stewing on anger about this situation and the people involved. To the point he says, “I’m ready to walk…”

I reminded him gently, “This is what you’ve wanted for nearly 40 years…”

His response “I don’t care, they’re wrong.”

To this day, he refuses to see that it’s just sabotaging wiring keeping him stuck. When I asked him “Is it better to be right and alone or to be happy, healthy and feel loved?” his answer was still indignantly “Right of coursewhy should they win?

I understand this example is an extreme case, but I ask you to consider that ‘RIGHT’ is only a matter of perception. You may perceive yourself to be right based on your life experiences (the wiring that your brain learned), however if you’ve ever felt wronged by someone or something then they too will have perceived themselves to be partially or even entirely right based on their life’s experiences (brain wiring).

Interconnected neurons transferring information with electrical pulses.

Interconnected neurons transferring information with electrical pulses.

It’s all just perception you know.

Although it may seem easier to remain angry, indignant or upset, the fact remains, the only person suffering with the effects of this is ourselves. Our health, organs and brain are physiologically affected by our emotional state.

When we ‘stew’, simmer or sulk on what should have, could have, did or did not happen… our heat aches and our body hurts…

Often people refuse to ‘FORGIVE’ because, like this man said to me “I can’t do that, that’ll mean they were right and I was wrong.”

Forgiveness has nothing to do with right or wrong… in fact it has nothing to do with the other person at all. Forgiveness is about your freedom.

It simply means you set yourself FREE to be a better, healthier, even slimmer person. Holding on to grudges, stewing on the past means your body is ‘stewing and simmering’ in the stress response which creates the belly fat hormone, cortisol.

So if you can’t yet forgive, or choose not to, CHOOSE FREEDOM instead. Freedom is always about you.

Instead of using “I forgive you for that,” try instead, “I FREE ME OF THIS…”

Instead of ‘stewing and resisting forgiveness, try my RECIPE FOR FREEDOM below.

Life’s too short for stew alone, I said to this man, “When ‘stew’ is all we eat… alone is all we get.”

It’s time to do one thing different today, do my recipe for FREEDOM


Rub or tap on the tips of each finger and thumb ending on the karate chop as you say: (see image)

That anger, that resentment

There it is

That’s not me

That’s just old wiring

I feel it here … (take note of wherever the sensation or thought is)

It feels like this (state what it feels like e.g. tight, urgent etc)

I choose to switch that wiring off

Tap or rub on these points as you say the corresponding statement

Inside eye by the bridge of the nose: This sensation of anger and resentment

Outside eye: I feel it here… (state where)

Under eye: It feels like…. (state what the sensation is)

Under nose: That sensation of stewing and simmering

Crease of Chin: It’s just wiring

Chest point again: I switch it off

Tap or rub on each finger and thumb ending on the Karate Chop as you say:

Chapter 4, Imaage 5 tapping points hand

8. Enough is enough, the past is the past

9. I choose to switch it off

10. It’s time to find freedom

11. I forgive myself for stewing and simmering in the past

12. I forgive myself for staying stuck, I set myself free

13. I switch off hurt, I free myself from needing the last word….

14. It’s time to have freedom

Go back to position 13 on the karate chop point:

I knew what I knew back then, I know differently now

I free myself of anyone who wronged me in the past

I release them from the need for an apology

It doesn’t make what happened right or wrong,

I choose freedom instead

I choose calm, I feel goodI am open to learn

Stronger every day, I have permission to feel free

I have permission to learn and grow, it’s a relief to be free

Then as you breathe out:

I switch stubborn and activate determined

I choose freedom, I choose health

I choose happiness

I let it go…. I let it go… I let it go….

 Assess how you feel and if you need to repeat the recipe do so now or if you feel free of this issue, use my recipe to switch off other unhelpful feelings or emotions keeping you stuck.


I have so many other BRAIN TRAINING RECIPES and MIND POTENTIAL strategies to help … so reach out and ask… because you deserve freedom…

Unleash your potential


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